So flake boy is back and emailed me. I'll see if he's still up for some mini-golf in the morning. But that got me thinking and surfing the match website on a fine saturday night because I don't have a date. A lot of hot guys have signed up recently! It was worth it just for the pictures. I emailed a half dozen to see if I get any replies. What I find hard to believe is that my portrait has been viewed 152 times and I've got 1, count 'em, ONE actual date out of it, and that one date has been canceled twice so far.
People offer the advice of "oh it's just a numbers game" but WTF is going wrong? I don't have numbers to play games with! Maybe flake boy will work out, but I'm not going to pin my hopes on him yet. I don't need to date 8 guys simultaneously, but if I'm to sort the wheat from the chaff, I need a little chaff to work with.
I've thought about revising my profile again but I don't know how I'd change it! It says what I'd like to say and what I think someone who will like me would like to read. I'm not saying it can't be improved on, but seriously, am I so hideous that 152 guys find me not to their taste? So much that they won't risk meeting for a freaking beer? I like me, why don't they? Any and all advice appreciated.
I would say "I'm a nice person" but I'm not, really I just fake it better than most. I'm in pretty good shape but don't look like it. I'm strong. I'm independent. Some days I know what I'm doing. I mostly pay the bills on time. I'm an engineer yet literate. I'm an artist. I love doing things outdoors if I have a buddy. I'm all the things guys say they want except skinny, so I'm started to get a little cranky about this whole thing. The magic that is me also has some special skills that could be put to good use, if only someone would get past whatever it is that's putting them off and take me on a date or three.
Maybe I should use some of that "I'm everything most guys say they want except skinny so put your money where your mouth is and buy me a drink. If you're lucky and I like you enough, you'll get my mouth where your mouth is." I'm so annoyed right now I'm tempted to try it.
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I read somewhere that one could increase their inherent happiness by writing down three things about their day which made them happy. Doing this for two weeks increased happiness for six months. I like this idea, but I think I'll use a 3+1 option where I also get to rant about something as well. What can I say? Ranting makes me happy. And blogging this way, no one has to listen against their will.
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8 comments:
That doesn't sound like such a bad plan. In any case, anyone who would respond to that would be an interesting person to meet!
-Noemi
I think you need a man that's secure in himself and his employment. Maybe you can change your profile to make that a challenge to the guys out there??
Otherwise... like me... we get bored quick or walk all over them.
Enjoy your mini-golf.
S.
Too long since I've been on a date/date but mini-golf and Cape Cod go together like white on rice so I actually have thoughts on the subject :) ... which is: fantastic date idea! Outdoors, anyone "can" do it but how do they play? How do they treat the other people playing through? I couldn't ... I don't think ... be in it for the long haul with someone who wasn't competitive. Even if I lose, I want to play with someone who gives it their best shot!
Hope you have a terrif time!
Just because your profile got 152 hits, doesn't mean that they were 152 potential dates.
For example, if I were going to write a profile for myself, the first thing I would do is read a bunch of other women's profiles to see how other people did it.
Rachel
I've been thinking about this a lot recently, since last Christmas when two different guys asked me why I wasn't involved with anyone. I've reached the conclusion that for me it's my independence that puts them off, I think it intimidates a lot of guys. I'm okay with this because I figure that any guy that's going to be intimidated by me is going to bore me rigid within 30 seconds (or will be under my thumb in the same time frame).
Personally I'd say that having strong and independent in your profile is cutting most of the chaff for you.
Hope the mini-golf works out
Dear Cranky:
I'm totally jacking you for the last paragraph of this post.
Love,
Shaz
Ok. Seriously now. I think it is a numbers game. Basically, everyone wants the top 2% of people. Everyone wants someone perfect, regardless of the fact that they are nowhere near that themselves. I see this a LOT with men. I was reading the blog of this guy that said that he wanted a woman who was in shape. When it was pointed out that he was in shitty shape, his response was, "Yeah I'm not in shape now, but I will be by the time I find this perfect woman." So I'm all like, if you want someone perfect...and you are not...what makes you think someone perfect would want you? It's maddening. However I believe a lot of men think this way. Another example? Take the "NiceGuy" for instance. Ever notice that the NiceGuy always complains about how women don't want "nice guys" they want assholes? Then you look at the women they are going after and they all look like models and what not. It's like they feel they are entitled to the "perfect" woman, and when ms. perfect doesn't want him, well ALL woman aren't shit...regardless of his of the fact that he really has nothing to offer ms. perfect for a couple of laughs. However that's not enough for a woman to offer him.
Add to that, that the whole online dating thing is like shopping. I find myself sifting through pictures like I'm trying to pick a ripe mango. If they don't get me right off the bat, I don't bother with reading their profile. I have to actually make a point to read a majority of profiles to make sure I'm giving myself the best possible chance of meeting the best possible person for me.
So maybe that's whats happening in your case. As a previous poster said, it could be other women reading your ad, or it could be the same group of guys reading your ad over and over again trying to figure out a way to approach you. :) Or maybe a guy who would talk to you, but doesn't meet your criteria or you his. Who knows. I don't have any good advice, just support. Stay strong girlfriend, and don't forget to keep us posted. :)
Oh, one more thing, maybe you should try a different site? Maybe a smaller site that fits more of a niche of what you like. Is there a dating site for outdoorsy folks? Professionals? Engineers that like funky exercise equipment?
Thank you everyone! I did go on the date today, but I'll just blog about that.
And thanks to the person who pointed out that I picked something stupid in my "my date should have" features that was pretty much a joke that didn't work (eye color) and I forgot all about it but have fixed it now.
And before reading Rachel's comment, I was thinking this afternoon that I should read some other women's profiles. But in the n months I've been on match, this is the *first* time that occurred to me so I'm thinking she was also sending that message telepathically.
Thank you for your support.
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