Monday, June 16, 2008


When I start feeling 'meh' I stop doing stuff. Like blogging. Yesterday, I spent the day between vegging on the sofa and doing ab exercises to make up for the couch surfing. I also went out to buy TP because it couldn't be put off any longer. I also stared at the 'puter thinking "I have nothing interesting to blog about". But that's not quite true.

One thing that might have helped is calling some people, but aside from my dad, it didn't occur to me until too late to hit the eastern seaboard folks so I made do with bartenders to get dinner and a show. When I moved out here, it felt so strange to just up and call people on the phone because I was used to dealing with friends mostly in person, and if not in person, via email. And phoning seems so intrusive and falsely urgent. So I kept up a little, but not enough, of the emailing, and floundered around wondering what to do with myself. This weekend was a bit of a return to that - I let the fact that the date was otherwise occupied throw me for a loop and didn't think so much about what I could do as what I couldn't. But now I've thought of a coupla things.

First, my incessant doctors appointments continue. Today I picked up custom $500 orthotics from the podiatrist for running. Then I got my lung CT scan (that's a CAT scan if you're old school), and while the tech was copying my files to a CD for me to take home, I went to the allergist. I wish I could say that I spent the rest of the time doing a great job at work, but mostly I spent a lot of time scrolling through cross sectional pictures of my lungs and spleen. (For those who haven't seen Encino Man, there's probably nothing wrong with my spleen. I actually don't know where it is. I'm pretty sure it's fine.) It's just that the doc or radiologist saw something funky in my lungs from the abdominal CT so they wanted a chest shot. Why not? What's more X-ray damage after a scan at the chiropractor, updates at the dentist, and the ab CT scan going to do? Heh heh.

Second, it belatedly occurred to me that I started this blog to keep myself cheerful. Even on days when I have no energy or feel sorry for myself, something good is going on. And I can & should post my 3 or more happy things, even if I'm not otherwise happy.

  • 3 babies! A college dormmate had her second and I got the forwarded announcement, a favorite author posted about her grandbaby. Neither of these would be enough degrees close enough to count for my running total from the last few years (well, one might), but it does lead into the phone call I got from a bff announcing some good news (which I probably shouldn't share until the timing hit's the standard safe point but I couldn't resist).
  • It's really cool to see my innards! And said bff has radiology connections so I can likely get a second set of trained eyes on them.
  • The elusive orthotics are now in my possession.
  • Burger Express makes *the best* avocado hamburger.
This weekend:
  • I have weekends. I earn enough $$ that I don't have to take a second job and I can lounge around feeling sorry for myself to my heart's content.
  • I think I've figured out a new space plan for the living and dining room that I'm pretty excited about. Haven't started moving stuff or painting or anything, but it'll be good.
  • While I was feeling sorry for myself, I went out into the lovely sunshine and got myself a smoothie. Then I did a lot of ab crunches and plank poses, reminding me of how little time it really takes to do them and how superior I feel when I do do them.
  • I was recognized at a couple of my "regular" haunts and had fun talking to the bartenders. My favorite guy is at the local place I walk to. I made him laugh and he made me a drink that almost put me under the bar but still tasted fantastic (not always my experience, since I prefer the fruit). But don't worry about me drinking myself delirious - I had the one drink on friday, extra strong but still just one, and saturday's bar "drink" was beer boiled shrimp. With a glass water and a plate fried scallops. Sunday's big drink was the cranberry smoothie.
  • Yanno, I do live in a really lovely part of the world, weather wise. Snake wise, and spider wise, there could be some improvement, (I hacked down part of a spider hiding bush, but don't say anything) and I am working on the friend and dating thing, so it's really hard to take my self pity seriously. Change is good, right?

I'll try to go back to more regular blogging, not obsessing on my mediocre but perfectly "normal" testing health, but at least doing my 3 good things every few days. FYI, comments make me happy too.


MarciaBC said...

Just for grins and giggles, in all this doctoring, has anyone checked your thyroid? I keep waiting for mine to shoot craps because all the women in my family go either hyper or hypo-thyroid in their 30s or 40s, but mine keeps chugging along. If the thyroid is out of whack, it messes with all your endocrine stuff, and can lead to weight gain. And if you have sulfate issues (did the allergist check for this one, too?) it messes with the thyroid. Go figure.

PSA said...

I need to remember 'meh' it's the best word I've found recently to describe how I've been feeling for the last month or so (hence no blogging for me). I've been hibernating from the world (as much as you can when you got to work 5 days a week) and I've got to admit that it's really good to see you blogging even though you're not feeling 100%.