Pack Rat

It's time to pack for my Thanksgiving trip. I try to pack all carry-on because I don't like to lose my stuff. Interestingly, I just read a friend's blog on packing light and it's not surprising that we're friends - we have similar priorities on what's important to pack, after all! Still, my stuff winds up taking about twice the space hers does, I think.

A few months ago, the family decided to plan a gettogether at thanksgiving. As of a couple weeks ago, this plan hit the skids, but I'd already decided on something else for Christmas, so we're going to make it work, sort of. The plan is a little crazy.

Step 1: Getting There
We all fly into STL sunday afternoon, get 2 rental cars and head to grandma's in southern IL. The 'rents fly standby, so this may or may not go smoothly. I couldn't get a direct flight at all, so mine may or may not go smoothly.

Step 2: Grandma's House
We spend a couple days with grandma and pop. Mom has some notion that we'll cook an early Thanksgiving dinner. I hope we do because my mom is great at that particular meal. I'd say you have no idea, but you probably do if you've met my parents. They like feeding people, and mom can whip up a turkey dinner for 12 on a moment's notice. It's her superpower.

Step 3: Traveling
Dad takes rental car one back to STL, the flies back home to go to work, the thing that lets my parents fly without planning in advance.
The following day, my mom and I head out for Kansas City. If all goes well, we'll stop to see friends of mine in STL, then we'll roadtrip across the state. I'm wondering if we'll be snacking on turkey drumsticks.

These plans aren't set in stone. The options for mom are

1. fly back early with dad
   
2. ride with me to STL and fly back
   
3. ride with me to Kansas City and fly back that night
   
4. ride with me to Kansas City and fly back the next morning
   
5. something unknown to science.

It took rather more planning skills than we usually muster because dad flies standby and cannot miss work on wednesday, I'm flying into STL and out of MCI, mom doesn't want to get stranded somewhere, and we don't want to spend a fortune on rental cars. We don't want my dad to miss out because it's his birthday as well as Thanksgiving. (Do I have a card yet? No.) Fortunately, we figured out that a 2nd rental car would be a trivial cost (1/10th my one-way cost...) so mom and I get more time with grandma. Who sounded more disappointed than I expected that I wouldn't be there on Thanksgiving. Step 4: Thanksgiving! My good friend from high school - she of the children named for Norse gods, as opposed to my good friend from high school whose child is named for a Norse god - invited me for thanksgiving. Her other friend that I stayed with when I went to her wedding will also be there, and we got on well, so I'm looking forward to this. The bonus will be seeing her youngest boy in an awake state, and meeting the 4th boy, who they adopted last year. Mostly I know her oldest boy, who visits grandparents in SoCal. And since I'm more mobile than a family of 6, it feels like the right thing to do. Apparently her husband is good at the Thanksgiving meal too, so that will be nice. Step 5: Return Hopefully this goes smoothly. I turn in the car and get another 2-segment flight back, but get back at a reasonable hour and have a day to decompress before headed back to work. Which brings me back to Step 0: Pack I'm mostly good with the toiletries from my CO trip last month, but am halfway through the laundry (quick pause to rescue delicates from dryer...). Thankfully I just read my friend's packing list for a reminder, and have a good handle on what to take. I even baked cookies using the last of my oats, so I have room for new oats at the cookie party.

The only real trick is that my brain somehow still thinks I have a week before I need to go, but really, I'm headed to LAX at 3am on sunday. In between now and then, the handyman is coming over for 8 hours of project finishing - I will finally put the range hood up! - I'm just not sure how my focus and energy will hold out. I try to remember that if all goes badly, I should keep my charged phone and credit card close to hand and they sell toothpaste where I'm going.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving*, all. Got any good plans?

*(A much belated Canadian Thx.)

I take one, one, one cause

Yay! It's 11/11/11, in both Europe and here.

It is also veterans day, or close to. The Navy SEAL Foundation just got a high efficiency rating; if you're feeling like sharing the wealth they'll use your donation efficiently.

7,000,000,000 700 & 0

In order, the world's population; the number of blog posts I've written (including the precious few unpublished ones); and the number of trick or treaters at my condo. In reverse order, the comments.

[be on the lookout for autocorrect errors, posted from phone.]

My brother and I learned early the efficiency of trick-or-treating in high density housing. It's a safe bet that the house with skull and pumpkin lights will be stocked. I do not understand how people are passing up free candy. Oh well, after a dinner of bloody guts (spaghetti) it was all the Muscato and Reese's for myself. My mom reminisced about the good 'ol days when the adults brought shot glasses along for an adult treat on Halloween night. Good thing I got some costume action this weekend to avoid total disappointment :)

Wow. 700 blog posts! Roughly 160 a year until this year. Lower rate is part no energy, part not blogging as fast from the new phone and using the phone about 10x the amount I used the netbook. But I'm going to try to get back into it. It's not ideas I'm short on. Like the next one.

With the population hitting seven billion, the question of fertility limits keeps being bandied about. Usually on the same day, one can also find an article on insufficient births for replacement rates (Russia, Italy). Overblown populations are problematic, so how do we slow the growth rate? It bothers me that everyone leaps on China's One Child policy as a guide, completely overlooking the multitudes of countries that have birthrates averaging "replacement rate" which is about 2.1 kids per woman.

China's policy means that couples who are significantly wealthy can leave during childbearing years and have an extra child or two. The remaining women either give up their non-lineage-continuing daughters to orphanages, have abortion forcibly done to them, or go along and have just the one. It's a horrendous invasion. I understand the reasoning, but the reality of it is beyond troubling.

So let's look at the plentiful other examples that dont use forcible coercion. What makes a birth rate trend toward replacement rate? Women with educations and power over their own bodies. They are neither being forced to bear children (arguable with restrictions to abortion) nor forced to give up or abort children, they (we) just choose how many kids to have. Some have a lot, some have none, but when left to make their own choices, most women don't have the 8-10 common a mere 2-3 generations ago.

The other thing that turns the tide is having a reasonable expectation that your children will live to adulthood. That means sanitation, education, vaccination, antibiotics, and clean food and water. It means girls get feminine hygiene products so they aren't barred from being at school for one week/month after puberty. It means women have access to birth control and both the legal and social power to enforce the use of birth control with male partners.

I'm not totally sure how all this plays out when in my own country my ability to control my own reproduction is under constant attack. Here's one clue: abortions don't have rights, women have rights. Or rather should have rights. But that aside, investigations show that on average the more educated a mom is, the healthier her children are. Where they've introduced TV into rural areas of India, wife beating drastically decreases (either because they see other ways of communicating or because they have something to occupy free time has not been determined).

Cultural expectations do play into birth rate. Individual choice most often conforms to cultural norms, so it's not a decision made in isolation, and social/political pressure can raise and lower birthrates. There are cultures still where birth rate is tied strongly to women's status. They may not easily trend the birth rate to 2, but my bet is that 3-5 would be where they settle down. We went from 8 child families to 2 child families in about 2 generations. If we can empower women worldwide, our overpopulation problem will almost certainly cease to grow too fast within 50 years. Fewer children per family will almost certainly reduce the desire to support participating in armed conflicts. Just value women, provide access to birth control, and support our decisions.

Lessons Learned

There are a LOT of TV crime, law, and police dramas on TV. I particularly like Bones. Even given that I'm usually rooting for the authorities to find the bad guy, here's what I've learned from watching these shows.

• Never, ever, ever cooperate with the police prior to legal assistance. Not if you're innocent, not if you're guilty, not anything. Name, rank, serial number, get a lawyer.
• Be careful about eating or drinking things they give you. Or touching anything, really. OTOH, if they don't give you a bathroom break, just pee in your pants, even if it does give them DNA.
• If someone shows up at your house citing a bunch of random letters, don't let them in. In fact, don't let the police into your home; don't let them inspect your car. They get a warrant or they don't have access. Period.

I've got some philisophical musings about the level of trust in local police to the level of justice seen as it translates to vigilante justice and sermons on hellfire, but I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.

What's your favorite cop/law/detecting show and why? I like Bones because they do a pretty good job with the science, the chemistry between the characters is excellent, it consistently holds my attention, they do good layering/mirroring in major/minor plots and character arcs, I like the writing, and I like the characters. I should probably not watch as much of it during dinner as I do, though.

Indecision

I've been dithering mightily about the upcoming weekend. There's a Cued Speech Intructors class I want to take as a refresher but I was making up all kinds of excuses. I finally decided, bought tickets, got friday off work, and I guess I'm going. It would have been cheaper if I'd booked everything when I'd first decided to go. Because I'd decided about 90%, and I'm not sure why the last 10% was so hard. So my halloween costume will be mostly about dressing in black and orange, I think.

Three good things from today:
Met up with friends at an OC Oktoberfest and had a good chat. I snuck in some cookies I made yesterday because I wanted a second opinion on them. They didn't work out as expected and my expectations were getting in the way of my judgement, well that and I overcooked nearly all of them. Turns out that they were ok. I may have to try them again.

Was able to make my reservations online for a reasonable price. I've learned that direct flights trump aggravating airport security for me.

Traffic was actually pretty tame today. I was able to maintain cruising speed from home to Alvarado St on the freeway headed out. Even then, it didn't slow much. Coming home, I scooted over to the coast and drove up Malibu. I didn't get a sunset due to the marine layer, but climbing over the mountains into my valley, I got to see the abrupt top of the marine layer nestling into the hills and it was really interesting. I debated stopping for a picture, but I'd just passed 5 cars and it seemed rude to stop. (They were really slow cars going uphill.)

Whatever, Nevermind

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Nirvana's album that launched the grunge Seattle rock scene nationwide. I was sort of a college freshman when that happened. Sort of because I got relentlessly ill my freshman year which led into depression. I can tell you firsthand that MIT is impossible if you're sleeping 13 hours a day. I took that next fall semester off to get medicated and remotivate myself by working at Taco Bell where I made origami out of the wrappers and used them to decorate the drive thru. My freshman advisor Alice was the best advisor ever and got me a third term as a freshman. So when I returned to school in the fall, I still had her as my advisor, I integrated seamlessly into the next year's cohort, and got a third term on pass/no record to use for sorting myself out.

Which is to say it was also a great time to discover Nirvana's signature music. I have a clear image still of the first time I heard it played directly from a CD. It was one of my few trips to visit a friend at college in MN. She had been my best friend in late elementary school and we kept up but not well. The off term gave me a chance to see her at college - now a senior living off campus in southern MN and still cooler than me. I remember the big entertainment center in the living room that housed her stereo as she showed off her new album.

I don't remember if there was anyone else with us. I don't remember if I even liked it right away or if the memory just stuck because I was hanging with my cool friend, feeling like all that for being in on a new thing for once. My other strong memory is also tied to off campus housing, but it was back out in Boston, rocking out to Smells Like Teen Spirit at an older alum's party. That may also have been the time I learned how random and inane the words if the chorus were. SLTS was definitely a song I liked more before I learned the words - which puts it in large and comfortable company - yet I retain a strong attchment to it even today.

I'm not the only one. I hear the web is filling up with remembrances today. The local station KROQ has at least one Nirvana song on rotation every day, from my observations of their playlist. One has to wonder if they'd still be mythic had Kurt Cobain stuck around - or if even more greatness would have come our way. The eternal question from lives cut short. Since I still feel the music mire than hear it, I suspect the latter. It's a good day to reflect on the awe and mourning inherent in the anniversary of Nevermind. Go now, and listen to some music that moves you.

Ask, Tell

The repeal of "Don't Ask/Don't Tell" is today! This means that gay/lesbian members of the military can now legally serve their country as a soldier or sailor, airman, guard, or marine. This is a big damn deal.

Almost 20 years ago, DADT was supposed to help service members because it removed the question of sexuality from the intake forms. Despite the fact that recruiters heavily encourage new recruits to lie on the intake forms for various reasons (primarily because (a) they know how bureaucracies work and (b) they need their numbers) a service member can be dishonorably discharged if those lies are brought to light. So DADT meant that new recruits didn't have to lie outright on a signed statement that could be used against them. Progress, right?

Well... kinda. Because people still got kicked out of the US armed services for being gay - and still got dishonorable discharges for being gay rather than something more dignified that allowed their service records to speak for them. It also meant that they didn't get the pension or other similar benefits provided for years of service to others. The witch hunt was still going on, and going on strong.

It's my hope today that the military brass will realize that this big damn deal for society and justice really isn't a big deal for them. Their soldiers will keep fighting and marching and wearing crisp uniforms with short hair. Where it causes dissention in the ranks, the ranks will get over it. Here's hoping the witch hunt stops, today. We all know that people can be discriminated against in subtle ways, and no doubt that will still happen. But here's hoping that not only will it happen less, but without the legal threats hanging over the gay service members, they will have more legal recourse, more allies, and a fighting chance to ride through the drama and focus on business.

Congratulations to all the gay and lesbian service members who can now serve openly. To all their friends and colleagues, please remember to stand proudly with them. We're all on the same side, it turns out.

[For celebratory reading, Suz Brockmann has a short Navy SEAL love story, available by Ebook, "When Tony met Adam" available for your favorite ereader.]