Wishes

I just took a long nap, now need to go to sleep for realzers as I have a guest coming tomorrow and should make some attempt to be civilized. But what did I do? Downloaded some books from Autobuy authors that recently came out. Will probably be reading for the next two hours. Although after all the anagrams and angry birds recently, it'll be nice to get back to my usual timesink.

One thing that is helping me be civilized is that I can afford to have someone clean my place every month or so. They came tuesday so all I *have* to do is wash the guest sheets and tidy up. But I have so many projects, and there's only so much tidy to go around. At least I don't have to worry about the shower being icky.

It's got me thinking of what else I'd like to hire done, though.
1) bookkeeper - I tell you what needs paying, you execute the payments. I *know* I should pay off the balance, I just plan to do it tomorrow but I'll forget about it tomorrow and then I'll have to pay a late fee. I had one for a while but she stopped doing that sort of thing and I haven't searched hard for another affordable one. They would make sure I turn in my reimbursements on time and remind me to donate before the end of the tax year and the like.

2) personal assistant - like the bookkeeper but not in charge of finances. Would set up and maintain my calendar, check through all the crap emails I get to find the ones I want to read, would set up my email folders so that less sorting is necessary. Would also copy all the files off my old computer onto a backup harddrive and get rid of ye olde eMac. Would compile all my pictures into one main storage space and one backup storage space and would re-back them up after I renamed them. Would also help me search dating websites for likely candidates, and "around town" periodicals for the concerts, museums, events, and restaurants I'd like to hit up and actually get me some tickets and whatnot.
(To be fair, my instigator friend in Orange County fulfills that last one nicely, but it's all stuff more local to her than me. Plus, I have a great organizer, but she's kind of expensive for doing the more rote things.)

3) handyman - or handywoman. Or a friend who just likes doing stuff. I have heapo plenty projects, lots of ideas. I like doing them. Sometimes I just like doing them better with others, sometimes I need more hands. I would like to have a regular buddy for this sort of thing, but would also be willing to hire some help.

4) Personal chef. This one is iffy because it would only be good if it helped me remove some decision making. "I guess I'll have stew because that's what's here". But my mental health requires me to not eat alone in my condo too often, so I eat out and if I'm just as happy with a Taco Bell chicken burrito, a chef seems like overkill when I can find them at restaurants. The bigger goal here would be to have a better food routine so I'm not always dreading deciding what to eat. maybe I should add that to my PA role - set me down once a week and figure out what the food plans are for the upcoming week. Have experimentation day on a day I can accommodate it.

The goal here would be to have someone help me impose order where it's hard for me to do it on my own (bookkeeper/PA) and make my fun projects less chore like. I'm making good on my goals from last year to finally get my place set up like I want it. I'd like to finish the already in-house projects within the next 3 months. This will allow me and my organizer to get me set up better to deal with incoming papers and scheduling, and I think at that point I'll be able to look into grad schools (and refinancing the mortgage or buying a cheaper place).

After attending the local Engineering Societies' Week dinner last night and being inspired all over again about the future of energy research, I need to make grad school a nearer term goal. (Or at least the regular watching of TED videos.) Particularly, our Keynote Speaker talked about how energy efficiency is progressing faster than engergy generation and storage technology. I've long thought I'd be psyched to do research and development batteries/fuel cells, but it might make more sense to work more on energy efficiency because I could get it to tie in better to my existing background and skillset. If one makes a more energy efficient cell phone, the same old battery doesn't have to improve as readily, for instance. And our CEO says we have something in the works, just like all other companies, so it makes me think it would be an easier career upgrade than trying something completely new. In the meantime, it might be cool to get involved with something like Unite to Light which donates solar rechargeable LEDs to schoolchildren in areas with poor local infrastructure so they can study after sunset when the day's chores are done.

Love the Skin You're In

I've been grooving on the Already Pretty blog. It fulfills my desire to read more positive, constructive, how-to messaging rather than thinking too much about what I can't do, all the ills of the world, etc... There's a particularly good post I want to share with you all, especially after the grimness of my last post. It's particularly good because she talks about something I think it's good for mindful people (I would say grownups, but it works at any age) to do - realize you're making a knee-jerk reaction and stop yourself. Think about why you're reacting that way and if reacting that way is helpful to you, your friends, or society as a whole. And if the answer is "no, it's not helpful", go about changing your response to certain stimuli. (A concept well described and used in Suz Brockmann's "Into the Storm" by main Character Jenk.)

In this case, allow women to be self-confident in their bodies without doubt, mistrust, or disdain for their confidence. I think a lot of what holds women back in some areas of life is other women. "I had to go through the horror of experience X, so you will too!" is a destructive social construct. It should be no surprise to you that I also think hazing is one of the worst things we do to people we should be supporting. Passing tests for a purpose is one thing, but beating people down because you were and you don't want to look retroactively silly is unconscionable.

This is also the same self-reflection that I used when I realized that I needed to decide whether or not to be homophobic and chose not. Previously, I'd only ever knee-jerked my reaction. Once I thought about it and realized that my societally conditioned response wasn't fair or helpful, I set about changing it. Some changes come easily and some are hard fought. Helping ourselves and other people see the beauty of themselves should be something to strive for.

One of the best things I learned from my communications class at Harvard Extension (where you too can get a Harvard degree! for cheap!) was this sequence

1. Unconscious Incorrect (UI)
2. Conscious Incorrect (CI)
3. Conscious Correct (CC)
4. Unconscious Correct (UC)

We all have unconscious behaviors or thoughts we do or think all the time. Not all of them are bad. They're unconscious because they are quotidian and habit frees up time for our brains to think of other, unusual things. But every so often, we have unconsious bad habits. When we realize that that we have these habits, they go from UI to CI. During the CI phase we can make a decision to change it or not. Usually it involves doing it twice - once wrongly, then once corrected. I had to do this when learning new de-gowning procedures at my new job after 10 years of doing it a different way. Going from top down to down up de-gowning was a challenge but I do it mostly UC now, but still occassionally CC. For a long time I'd come out of the fab, take my hood off, then put my hood back on, take my boots off and work up. I found if I just left my hood off, I didn't improve, but by being a bit of an idiot for a while, I was able to change my habit to match the new company's protocol.

If it's something you're learning new rather than changing, you might even start at the CC stage. But for new learning or re-learning, going slow correctly allows you to build the skill to do it faster correctly. Like in practicing the piano, it usually involves taking longer to do something. Yes, it can be frustrating because it's slower than you're used to, or slower than you do other stuff. Eventually you get consistently to the CC stage where you do things the right way, but you always realize it and it still takes a bit of effort on your part, which can make if feel slower even if it's not. The real party should happen when you move to the UC phase - but it often doesn't because "unconscious" means you've stopped thinking about strutting your stuff the way you want to! These stages aren't fully clean. The next time you want to change something and are frustrated by how long it takes, think of this sequence and how far along it you are. It might be that it looks more like UI, CI, UI, CI, CI, CI, CC, CI, CC, CI, CC, CC, CC, CI, CC, CC, CC, UC, CC, CC, UC, UC. Think about how often you've done it right and give yourself props for even realizing you need to change, even if you don't do it right yet. And be nice to you - and your friends.

Start How You Mean to Go On

I was fortunate to catch the "opening ceremonies" of the Obama administration on HBO this morning. Very much the inclusive, celebratory occasion. Hope, it's still in the air. Compare and contrast to this stunningly prescient SNL skit from just before GWB's *first* State of the Union. Hunting accidents and dam failure anyone? Is it any wonder the news I've come to trust most is from comedy shows?



Back in the hope and change here and now is my assessment of this morning's festivities.

I felt a little sorry for the guy singing the national anthem. I've *never* heard a more confusing introduction for it. I was wondering what the hell they were playing until the verse started, at which point, it felt introductory to me too, and I waited as the singer did for when he was supposed to start. If the conductor had any compassion or sense, he would have started the first verse over after the guy didn't start on time. Clearly, they needed more practice, or a less obtuse introduction. He had a beautiful voice and clear diction and will probably never live this down, poor guy.

All in all though, for something put together about 2 months, while working on other stuff too, I thought it was very good.

A lot of the quotations presented by teh speakers are so common here as to maybe be taken for cliche. But they are not cliche so much as they are part of our national identity and, IMO, have been utterly absent for the last 8 years. The concept of "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" never crossed GWB's insular little mind. This ceremony was a reminder of who we are proud of being, where we come from, and what we can still be. It's all well and good to remind ourselves of this once in a while, but in this case, it felt so necessary as to rather scare me in the necessity. How close we've come to totally losing our sense of self.

I took note that MLK day is being upgraded to "a day of service" in Obama's plan. I like it. Holidays with something to do are always the most meaningful. (Trivia: In New England MLK is the biggest skiing weekend of the year.) Since it just occurred to me this moment that I missed our SWE day of service yesterday, I'll have to come up with something for February.

And can I just say that the last time I payed attention to Beyonce, she was a kid. I didn't recognize her today, but she really looked like a grown adult in her professional prime. It's nice to see people doing well. But how funny was it that they had "Kumar" known for being a stoner and Jack Black who was "Nacho" in "stretchy pants" saying grave and serious things? And how 75% of the songs were covers sung by people who have hits in their own right they didn't get to sing, with a couple of exceptions (U2, JM, BS).

One thing I became aware of from anthropology studies is just how important special days of celebration are for the psyche, both individual and collective. And this was an impressive one filled with ceremony, symbols (uh, trapped eagles flailing uselessly, maybe not so great), professional entertainers, and meaning. Celebrations do not dismiss the negatives of life, but like my occasional happiness lists, get us refocused on why it's worth fixing or dealing with the negatives. When it is all too common to wallow in the things that annoy us, celebrations allow us to reestablish positive focus and share a communion with our neighbors.

I enjoyed it. You?

Tilting at Windmills

This week when I drove to the farmers market after work, the proportion of "YES" to "NO" on 8 signs at a big intersection I pass through was way off in favor of yes. I bought my fruits and veggies and squash and my blood continued to boil. Instead of raging silently I decided to go talk to them. The staff at the arts council let me use a marker and a piece of paper to make a "NO H8" sign and tape it to my back.

Then I hied off, parked at the mall, and walked over to the corner and started confronting the haters. For some reason that happened to be really effective, I just walked right up to the kids in a block of maybe 10 people and asked why they were holding signs. "To say Yes to 8". "Why?" "To Protect Marriage." "From What?" Adults interceded. So I asked why they thought it was ok to take kids to a streetcorner to help them profess their hate. To a one they denied having any hate for gays. Uh huh. They just want to protect society from going to hell in a handbasket of perversion.

Well, what they call perversion, I call progress. If people weren't using the exact same arguments against gay marriage that they used against black people marrying white people, they might have a valid point. But as it is, they feel self righteous in denying other people rights they themselves are allowed. Intolerable. So I didn't change any of their minds, but I hope I planted the seed of doubt with the kids. And I was able to discuss with them, without screaming, but generally making enough of a pill of myself that I drove them off the corner. When they asked if prostitution should be legalized too I said yes. "Well obviously you're too far to the left for us to talk to." Uh, sure. And you're too far to the hate for me to like. They were particularly annoyed when I pointed out that laws that discriminate against differences in identity lead directly to things like the 15 year old cross dresser being shot to death in school two towns over a couple months ago, for being a little strange. Granted, when they left the majority of traffic had gone down, but I definitely think I hastened their departure.

Which left a very small handful of "No on H8" people left over. But hey, we were there. One of the more lucid H8ers came back to chat, sans sign. His primary argument, despite having a gay brother whose long term relationship he "tolerates" but does not "celebrate", was that if gay marriage is allowed, suddenly sons and fathers will be marrying. Well, Sons can't currently marry mothers, so why the fear? He also thinks that gay sex is risky for health. ALL sex is risky for health. And straight people can have oral and anal sex too. Oh, and the "it's unnatural" argument? There are twice as many gay people as redheads. Even if there were only one though, by virtue of existing, gays are as natural as any other person.

One person tried to ask me "if a six year old would prefer to live with his natural mom and dad or two dads". Then wouldn't listen if I asked if the natural mom and dad wanted to raise the child, were abusive, etc... saying I wouldn't answer his question as if his question was reasonable. He left when I insisted that there were more answers than just his two. What I should have said is, "If you asked a six year old if he wanted Cheetos for dinner, would he say yes? Should we then legislate that all kids should only have Cheetos for dinner?"

I can't say it helped anyone but me for me to go do that. But I was heartened that a kid coming by on a skateboard stopped to ask the calm h8ter how he thought kids of this generation would judge their parents for promoting intolerance. And another young woman with a rainbow flag came by.

I think that unless something is so dangerous that it causes immediate and lasting or fatal harm to the unwary, we should choose education over legislation for matters of personal choice - alcohol, cigarettes, other low toxicity drugs, and sexual choices. Things that need to be illegal (or extremely hard to get) are those things that cause immediate and lasting harm to the unwary, and behaviors that endanger or take advantage of people who have not or cannot give consent. Anything related to core identity, like sexual orientation or race, should be protected by law because we have shown time and again if differences are not legally protected, people who are different will be marginalized legally and socially. When people are protected legally, they become accepted socially.

And I can't see any downside to tolerating other people choosing what is best for their family, as long as they don't mandate what is best for me and mine.

Slow Coach

I've had 2 memorable occasions to witness the dramatic turnaround that can happen when a bad leader is replaced by a really good one. I'm hoping for a third, in our next Presidential election.

When I took an ill-advised turn in sales, one of our discussions during training was that roughly 15% of people would buy no matter what we said to them. They were committed to buy from the time they accepted the appointment. Roughly 15% of people weren't going to buy no matter what we said to them. It was our job to identify these people and stop wasting all our time as soon as possible. The remaining 70% in the middle were neither committed nor uncommitted. These were the people affected by our salesmanship, demeanor, and the ones we were pitching.

Somewhat like a bell curve, I've found this proportion, to some degree, to be in play in a lot of things. Some parents are extremely bad, some are extremely good, but roughly 70-80% are "normal". When they have "normal" kids all goes well. Some kids will turn out well regardless of parenting, some kids will turn out badly regardless of parenting. Kids in the middle will be either fine, great, or bad depending on which parents they get matched up with.

In sports, most teams get a perfectly reasonable coach. Some get exceptional coaches and go on to fame and fortune. Some reasonable coaches get exceptional players with similar results. Sometimes the great players overlap the great coaches and we talk about them for decades. Sometimes perfectly reasonable players get a rather bad coach. This happened to my high school volleyball team.

As a freshman, we shared the training gym with varsity players and watched some of their games. Our team consistently lost and our coach would berate the players publicly. Some cried. At games. They all played hard, but it just wasn't enough. The next year, we thankfully hired a new coach. It was evident from the first day of training that things were different this year. There was more structure - not just physical punishment training but physical training in court coverage patterns. We didn't just pass balls back and forth, we ALWAYS passed them to the setter's position (or rather, we tried; there's a reason I turned back to swimming). And we got shouted at, but with encouragement. If someone needed correction it was done without humiliation. The result? The varsity team, comprised mostly of the same players as the previous year with a couple freshman(!!) added, went to state and did respectably. The same players, the same drive, new coach. The coaches had a different vision and different priorities. The team went from last in league to one of the top.

In seventh grade, I escaped from band and joined the chorus. It was chaos. We gave one of the most embarrassing concerts ever suffered through by parents and singing kids of the generation. It was hard to pin down exactly what went wrong when the answer was everything. No one died or fell off bleachers, but that's the best you can say of it. The next year, we thankfully hired a new choir teacher. There was class discipline from day one. We learned to cut off at the same time. We learned how to form proper vowels and stay on pitch. We sang interesting and challenging music. The teacher formed 2 additional choruses and ran them well. Our school musicals were terrific. Exactly the same group of kids, entirely different outcome. I don't think I was the only kid to be flabbergasted by the difference. The parents were thrilled.

Sometimes people toss around the idea of how one guy, even in the top role, can so profoundly affect a country. Well, some call the effects of a really charismatic leader the "Cult of Personality". I posit that our current president has presided over a culture of fear - I think I'll call him a "fearfulist". Keeping the populace in a constant state of fear, not quite terror, enough to function at a subsistence level, but not relaxed enough to quit the fight/flight reaction and think long term. Keep presiding over crises that must be *attended to NOW!!!* and threaten anyone who doesn't like their proposed solution with being unpatriotic. While they are masterful at doing this particular manipulation, they seem a little slow on the uptake in just about every other aspect. Bullies can be clever and effective as bullies without being smart. I still haven't figured out how that works, but there it is. And without hesitation I would call Bush and Cheney and their administration one of the worst ever. Partly due to malfeasance and partly due to incompetence all of which they've made people too afraid to call them on.

That the populace goes along with this doesn't make them evil or dumb. It means that the leadership sucks. And roughly 15% on either side is unpersuadeable. But the 70% in the middle is critical, and needs, from my perspective, to think of how good things can be if we give up the fear.

What I'm hoping for in the next president is one who looks past the fear and into the future. Exactly the platform Obama proffers. I do honestly think that with the same populace and the same congress with a different leader at the helm we can completely turn the country around. Maybe not as dramatically as in the case of volleyball and choir, but we can start the process: stop being bullies; start being allies; maintain our infrastructure; strengthen our international standing. I've seen how one person can make the difference. Obama may not be Alexander the Macedonian or Peter the Great or even JFK. But he can rouse an American crowd like no one we've seen in decades. He's open to new ideas and he respects people with expertise and believes in science. Better, he believes in the American Dream. He's lived the American Dream. And unlike the current administration, doesn't want to pull up the ladder after him once he gets there, but wants to make sure the American Dream applies to everyone. And a coach who is guided by that notion, is one I want to put in charge.

Delegation, Power of Three

My desire to get stuff done without doing it myself came to a head this week. I have now paid people to:

• prepare my taxes
• pay my bills
• clean my condo
• put new tires on my car

The one thing I didn't buy today was dinner because my date covered it. Now I'm back home and the condo smells lemony (and like the cheap, possibly carcinogenic, mousepad with wristrest I got at the dollar store), the car corners better, the credit card balance is consolidated and being paid down, and I'm getting my largest refund ever. Best of all, it all got done! With a minimum of angst on my part. And I didn't have to be expert at something I don't have interest in being expert in. And the stuff I am expert at doing is going well.

I also need to make a decision about what to do with the refund before I spend it twice over. I'm thinking about:

• spending a little on something fun (of course, by my definition that means kitchen cabinets I install myself, or a custom range hood but I already have a budget for that),
• spending a little on travel (I'm still debating alaska in June, plus I want to see my grandmothers)
• putting a hunk in a Roth (I haven't contributed to those in a while and gutted my early ones for the downpayment on the condo.)
• buying glass studio time for playing around or classes (whee!)

and/or

• paying down debt (blah)

If anyone out there in blogland feels strongly about paying down credit card debt (5.9%), car debt (8.5%), or spending it all on hookers and blow, let me know.

---

Also, I've had HGTV on in the background while I picked up clutter and did laundry because it's kitchen reno week on my favorite station. The show on right now is looking at the exact laminate I want to put in my kitchen (I picked it out when eagle eyed friend J visited) and it looks even better large than on the swatch. Cool. Other coincidences have happened too. There was a househunters episode last night in Portland, OR where the couple bought a condo from a building I toured when I interviewed there. It was super funky fresh and modern and I liked it a lot, but was still surprised to see it on TV. Two of the on-the-cheap kitchen remodels have featured IKEA cabinets and answered the question I had about whether or not people will care if my upper cabinets perfectly align with my lower cabinets. (No, apparently not.) IKEA is cheap because they don't do custom sizing. You cram whatever they have into the space you have and put up filler in the rest. Unfortunately, their selection of 12" wide cabinets leaves something to be desired but if I go with 15", there are some challenges. I figure at worst I buy the 15" and have to replace them with 12" before I sell. In the meantime, I have to custom fit a 28" wide vent hood for over the stove, and someone on the bookclub did just that and loved it so I'm feeling optimistic.

Oh no way - Househunters is on again (not my favorite, wasn't quick enough with the remote), but OMG!! These people are touring a house plan I recognize from the elevation! They're in the town my brother lives in near Austin, TX. He just plunked down a deposit for a new house this week to improve his view. But on monday, he had a different house in mind for a lot located closer to his current place (and the tollway noise) and sent me to the builder's website to see the house plans they offered. One of them has just come to life on my TV. Not bad. But the builders were not willing to make a modification that was a dealbreaker for the brother and he found a quieter lot and more accommodating builder.

I like those coincidences (all outsourcing all the time, HGTV overlapping with my actual H) better than the ones at work. Last week was office supply issues week: I ran out of staples, I ran out of tape, the printer jammed several times requiring me to dig paper out of every possible orifice. This week it was metrology issues: the 4 point probe ran out of memory and needed a software reconfiguration, the stress tool lost control of one laser... Fortunately I had no trouble with the profilometer which was on the critical path and couldn't be delayed.

One more day and my buddy (Esperanto Guy in the sidebar) gets here for nearly a week's stay. I'm taking a couple half days off so we can do stuff because if I take whole days I'll just sleep until noon and we won't have that time together anyway. He's going to help me with the computer tasks I have piling up, so I might not make him move bookshelves. Well, at least not many.

Oh, and go read this post at New Door Knobs and the one after it if you like pithy, comical conversations with kids.
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Shopping Spree

There's a reason that I don't entertain myself by going to the mall. I don't window shop well... I buy stuff. Like so.


The damage here was done in a matter of 2 hours.
1 dress, 1 pr. Lucky jeans, 1 shiny top, 1 semi-shiny top, 1 mesh shell, green gym shower shoes, lazy comfort shoes, work shoes, heels, 3 purses for 3 color palates, 6 bottles of foaming hand soap (also great for cleaning glasses), variety travel soaps, and some extra socks. I'm actually pretty excited because I got all of it for 50-80% off thanks to end of year sales. I need to go back for some "clubbing/date" tops as I'm getting tired of the couple I have that I like.

I also tried to buy a new dining room table - but despite being a featured item in the advertisement, the national chain was completely sold out of the $300 3-in-1 dining, poker, bumper pool table. Drat! I have a nice little gate leg table, but I need stuff that will provide entertainment and not require talking about feelings. Like pool. I don't have enough space for a real pool table or the desire to keep a spare poker table top in storage. But this would have worked for the price of a regular table.

None of this holds a candle to the biggest purchase of the day, however. I finally bought my real grown adult fridge! No more dorm fridge! And the best thing? I got my french door, freezer on the bottom style without blowing my budget!

It comes on tuesday. I was prepared to settle for a freezer on the bottom, generic top. But I went out today to price appliances, and the sales lady pointed me at this one and laughed out loud at the delight on my face when I realized I could afford the fridge I wanted. It's a close out and several hundred dollars cheaper than all other similar ones. The freezer configuration is tolerable (some of them are not), but it would be $600-$1000 more to get the freezer I want, so I'm more than happy with this one. I love this fridge. It makes me happy.

I also found my new stove, also a beauty, but am going to wait on a sale for it. We only have electric here (no hassle with earthquakes and gas lines that way), so I'm getting a flat surface stove and a double oven that has the pizza/cookie oven at the top and a big oven on bottom. This way I can bake without feeling like I'm heating up the whole house for food for one. (Or hopefully two...)
I'm going to save $200 by going for the smaller windows - the only difference I can find between this and the next version up. I won't be getting convection as it's waaaay out of my price range and I could get it in a microwave for lots less. Still debating the freestanding microwave vs the over the stove version. I have visions of pouring freshly microwaved hot liquid down my chest with the overhead version, but it would look nicer. So debating potential pain with beauty. We'll figure out later what wins.

So that's what happens when I shop. I don't just shop, I BUY. I'm happy though I spent grandma's christmas money on the small stuff. I needed another pair of jeans, a dress, and a "new color" (in this case bronze) to wear as I'm getting tired of my current staple colors. And they finally started making heels right again, so I had to get some. Yay!

What did everyone else spend their Christmahanakwanzika dough on?

Mini-Goals

After the previous long winded posts I had a couple discussions and realized I've been rambling not just in the blog but in life as well. So it's time to refocus on my goals. I call them mini-goals if they are going to take 6 months to a year. Having too many can make me lose focus, but I want to call out both the inherent goals and special effort goals.

1. Do good/great engineering and art


• It feels weird to say I want to be a great engineer for some reason, but I want to be good at my job and I need to make that a priority. For now, this is keeping the line running well and doing my projects on or ahead of time and delivering a little more than expected, but not so much more that they think I wasted my time on flourishes. (So far so good.)
  
• Keep glassblowing. Sell enough ornaments and pumpkins to be able to fund some studio time that doesn't need to be used for saleable items and work on my exercise line of vases. Get my website and contact info to the people who will enable the website and business cards.


2. Improve my heath
   This is multi-faceted.
   
   • Take up running again so I can do a 10K on the summer solstice.
     
   • Get at least 6-7 of hours of sleep on weeknights. In a row.
     
   • Find an acupuncturist that can help me with the previous 2 items.
     
   
   
3. Get comfortable in my space
   
   • Rearrange my living room per the new space plan.
     
   • Pick a wall color and paint the LR.
     
   • Kitchen remodel - Design and start ordering stuff before the new year, start the demo in january, watch for appliance sales.
     
   • Declutter the paper files of old stuff I don't need and file the new stuff.
     
   • Get Geek Squad or a friend equivalent to make my computer setup work for me, not against me.
   
   
4. Make new friends, Keep the old
   
   • Ditto the Geek Squad thing so I can keep blogging and emailing while not at work.
     
   • Make an effort to call people on the phone more.
     
   • Send out congrats cards for the new babies.
     
   • Visit friends and family as I am able (up to 1 distance visit per month)
     
   • Attend a Suz Brockmann fan event if there is one.
     
   • Fulfill my SWE role as secretary
     
   • Find a boyfriend
     
   • Find a local exercise partner
     
   
   
5. Money management
   
   • Pay the bills. Trickier than one would expect - I need to set up a new bank account and an whatnot. I also need to rearrange some existing debt.
     
   • Try not to overspend - stay within my remodel budget, don't buy things that aren't in the plan. The closet overhaul will probably have to wait until next year, so no more clothes/shoes unless they are replacements.
     
   • Control food money. I've almost completely stopped eating out for dinner except for take out that I can use for 2+ meals. I've streamlined my farmer's market purchases. I'm not going to worry about it too much beyond this.
   
   

I'm going to try to assess opportunities that come up against this list. If it doesn't accomplish something on this list, the answer is no - not going, not spending, not buying it, not doing it. If I can't think of what to do some day, I should come look at this list. At some point, I'll turn this into a better list of achievable tasks rather than nebulous ideas. (Run 3X/week, place order for cabinets, etc...) which also helps.

So far, I'm so far off this wagon I can scarcely see it, except for visiting friends, keeping up the blog, and doing good engineering. Now that I write this out, it seems that I have an awful lot on my plate. And I need to work on the energy levels and sleep so I can do this. I also love reading, so I'll keep doing that but I don't know what category that goes in. Maybe that and glass go in a "hobby" category, but I need to get to bed, not reformat this blog. But mostly, I think if I do this stuff, and get the one-time items on this list accomplished in the next few months, I'll feel happier and more settled, and less tired. I could use a good hug too.